Balancing “no” and “yes”
Before meditating today I read this:
[From The Lao Tzu (Tao-Te Ching) as found in Wing-Tsit Chan (translator and compiler), A Source Book in Chinese Philosophy, (1963), page 153, slightly adapted by Jonathan Freirich]
26.
The heavy is the root of the light.
The tranquil is the ruler of the hasty.
Therefore the sage travels all day
Without leaving their burden.
Even at the sight of magnificent scenes,
They remain leisurely and indifferent.
How is it that a ruler with ten thousand chariots
Should behave lightheartedly in their empire?
If they are lighthearted, the minister will be destroyed.
If they are hasty, the ruler is lost.
Some thoughts:
Saying no is really difficult. I want to help and I want to be useful. When someone asks for my help it is a validation of my own value in the world.
Or is it?
To be valued and to feel valued are different, and we all know it. So much of what goes on around me, if I give into it, can be characterized as “empty calories”, superficial validation.
Whether it is an app on a device that incentivizes me with a point system or a person we’ve never met asking for advice, I need to stop and wonder, what is this for? Am I getting something real out of this and am I the right person to help?
To follow the middle path implied in the reading above is also to follow the balanced position that a Jewish mystical system describes through the “sefirot” or “spheres”, and that we will explore in the coming weeks as we begin to count the Omer starting on the Second Day of Passover.
To follow a path of balance means saying no as often as we say yes.
Wishing everyone a Shabbat Shalom and a very Happy and Healthy Passover starting tonight.